Hearing Damage or Cheesy Tunes? Pick Your Poison.
Welcome to a whirlwind tour of Edinburgh nightlife that’ll catch you up faster than a Gari’s Special gets you drunk.
Moving to any city, the choices in front of you can feel incredibly daunting. Can you find your way around? Are you making friends? And most importantly… where’s the best place for a night out?
Well do not fear, I’ve got you covered! So fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night…
It’s only fitting that we begin with WHYNOT. Last year I was a veteran, seldom missing a WHYNOT Wednesday (though I must say the novelty’s worn off a little now). However, as a fresher, you’re guaranteed to bump into all your mates and soon you’ll be well-versed in the routine: stamp, Spoons, LED room.
Then there’s Subway. Yes, the music is cheesy and yes, you might sweat like a topless man at Leeds Fest but it’s hard to resist its sing-along charm. A Subway Tuesday is good vibes, good fun and Venoms all round.
Bongos is another option, but you better pre like a football fan for the Euros as you’re signing yourself up for 4 hours of straight hearing damage. But hey, each to their own!
Then there’s Garibaldi’s. WARNING: Do not underestimate the power of a Gari’s Special; that’s £6 that’ll have you blacked out before you can check your bank account. It’s a fun night out – the strip pole in the dance floor certainly adds some character. But beware fellow 5’ 4”-ers, the small confines of Gari’s puts you at risk of being crushed.
I’m a sucker for an event at Cab Vol. The lights, the smoke and the underground layout makes the whole night feel like one massive sidequest.
Liquid Rooms can also get a bit stuffy, but it’s got the best outdoor smoking area for if you want to engage in some actual conversation.
I’ve been to some iconic events hosted by La Belle in its day – the 2000s themed nights being particularly well-attended.
I’m sure you’ve heard about the classic (maybe slightly infamous) “Hive Till Five” and I can assure you now – it’s as grotty as it sounds. It doesn’t matter that it’s only open till 5 during the Fringe, because Hiving for 5 minutes is enough – with its sticky walls and creepy men. That being said, when it comes to cheap drinks, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
Club Tropicana… I don’t think there’s anything to be said on that front.
Sneaky Pete’s and Kitty’s are respectable choices – or even a bit of Mash House now and again.
Finally, you’ve got Dropkicks (an Irish bar) or Three Sisters (with its fun, little dance floor) which both provide an alternative to the intensity of clubbing, whilst still feeling like you’re involved in the nightlife.
Ultimately, wherever you choose to go, with the right people you’ll have a great time.
Just have fun, stay safe, and run from the club photographer like your life depends on it!
Photo by Antoine J. on Unsplash
