We’ve all done it: browsing for Longchamp bags, iPads, and MacBooks because everyone else in the lecture has them and you feel out of place by comparison with a massive Chromebook and a Mango bag from five years ago. But that’s university, right?
Well, yes and no. It’s natural to have imposter syndrome in a place that once seemed out of reach. Everyone else is social and can easily make friends, whilst you’re standing in the corner feeling like everyone’s eyes are on you. I might be projecting, but I know I can’t be alone. University has always been seen as this daunting new experience, especially as you move away, and in the beginning it really does feel true. Even now I still get hesitant to talk in seminars, scared of being judged for having a Geordie accent and not having an answer to the question “Where do you ski?” I’ll admit the feeling is never going to go away, but that’s part of being human. New job, new school, new class: you’re always going to feel out of place at the start of a new era.
Sometimes it’s the fear of making new friends in your class, or having to attend a society event on your own, and your confidence can falter constantly. In my first year, I had a panic attack at a queer mixer because I didn’t know anyone yet. Yet I went to a sex pub quiz two days later and easily slotted myself into a random team, and even though no vibrators were won, I still had a good time. You’re allowed to feel scared in these situations, and you need to keep in mind that other people probably feel the same way.
However, it doesn’t last, and as cheesy as it sounds, you do eventually find your people. I was grateful to find most of the Geordies who have come to this university, forming a group I don’t think I could survive university without. Your people are out there, and you just need to know how to find them. Even with Freshers’ Week over, the Edinburgh University Students’ Association offers plenty of events to find like-minded people: yoga, pilates, and pub quizzes all across the year. These events are open to all, and as daunting as going to one of these things on your own seems, get some liquid courage (whether that be coffee or something stronger) and dive in the deep end. The world is your oyster after all, so get out there and have a good time.
Illustration by Scarlett Harland @buy1ngst4rs for The Student.
