Friendships are designed to ebb and flow, but when your best friend lives five thousand miles away, it can be easy to envision the relationship running dry. Having moved last September to Edinburgh from Massachusetts, I would consider myself an expert on the trials and tribulations of long haul friendships.
I can’t imagine how people used to stay connected with their faraway friends before social media, because sending tiktoks that remind me of the people I can’t talk to IRL is my love language. And I won’t tolerate any Snapchat slander, because my friends and I have been using it to micro-update each other about our daily lives for over a year now. Of course, these updates can be as “micro” as you see fit; my videos to my best friend often clock in at well over ten minutes. Waking up to her recounting a run-in with her crush or expressing murderous intentions towards her sadistic physics teacher brings an instant smile to my face. But, if listening to long-winded updates doesn’t fit into your busy schedule, apps like Locket might be more suitable. While I have yet to try it, I can imagine how seeing a new picture of your friends on your homescreen each day could also cure the ache of separation.
With such busy schedules, finding the time to connect with long-distance friends presents a major obstacle to longstanding connection (you know it’s bad when you have to send a Google Calendar invite to the group chat just to make sure nobody schedules something else on top of your precious coordinated time). Now that I’m in my second year of navigating time differences and busy schedules with my distant pals, I’ve learned that flexibility is key. This means making every effort to pick up the phone for a “you free?” text, even if it may not be the perfect time for you. Maybe you only stay on call for ten minutes before sidling out to grab your fish fingers from the oven, but every small gesture counts in showing your friend how much you still care about your relationship.
Maintaining long-distance friendships presents many difficulties, but the upsides are well worth it. Firstly, you get to bring someone who knows the younger version of you along into your new life at university, and beyond, helping ground you through the difficult exams and messy relationships. Speaking of messy relationships, having a completely different inner circle, coursework drama, and city to call home, saves you and your long distance friends from crowding each others’ space. Lastly, having friendly faces and free accommodation in different parts of the world can be a huge advantage for the young ho looking to travel and create new experiences.
So despite the challenges, putting in the effort to nurture my long-distance friendships through voice notes, calls, and visits has been a highly rewarding experience. On the other hand, make sure to leave time to get to know new friends in your classes and societies here in Edinburgh; after all, you never know who might become a friend you still call from across the world a few years from now.
Illustration by Amelia Patterson for The Student
