When I was five years old, I started sobbing when my parents exchanged Valentines and I didn’t receive one, thinking it meant they didn’t love me.
Valentine’s Day has been, and continues to be, highly contested with pressure to make grand gestures while somehow avoiding being too cliché. While my (mis)understanding of Valentine’s Day as a child was that it was a day celebrating love in all its forms, it epitomises how society places romantic love on a pedestal above other forms of love.
As February 14 approaches, I offer a selection of songs that explore love in its many forms, or with lyrics that can be interpreted beyond overly-idealised notions of romantic love. While there is a strong temptation to boycott the day entirely (believe me, I know), I hope listening to some of these songs can change your mind — or at least encourage you to show some extra appreciation to the people around you.
‘True Blue’ by Boygenius (Platonic Love)
Each time I hear the distinctive guitar strumming at the beginning of this song, my chest tightens. The quietly devastating lyricism of Lucy Dacus speaks to an underlying, intrinsically human desire: to feel truly seen by another. Sometimes it’s friends who do this better than any romantic partners or situationships ever could. Unconditional loyalty and forgiveness should never be taken for granted, so hold onto that kind of ‘true blue’ love.
‘Lover, You Should Have Come Over’ by Jeff Buckley (Unrequited Love)
You guessed it. Jeff Buckley presents himself as the non-performative male — an expert in yearning, the complete opposite of nonchalant — and he pulls it off effortlessly. The music crescendos before dying away, desperately seeking a return of what once was, and the reassurance of “it’s not too late.” He convinces himself as much as the listener. After all, ‘she is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever’, don’t we all want to have this kind of lasting effect on someone?
‘In the Middle’ by Dodie (Polyamorous Love)
Playful and light-hearted, this song captures the excitement and nervous anticipation of stepping into something new. The ukulele and percussion heighten the spirited and uncomplicated feel of the music. So, instead of feeling jealous of another person this Valentine’s, if that’s your sort of thing, perhaps you could ask to join in?
‘about time’ by Loyle Carner (Familial Love)
From his most recent album hopefully!, Loyle Carner expresses his devotion to his son — reflecting on the maturity, patience and responsibility that fatherhood has taught him. In contrast to the bold jazz and boom-bap of his other works, this song has a gentler atmosphere due to its acoustic sound, with guitars, piano, and brushed drums. It ends with an intimate conversation with his young son, grounding the song in its true purpose: “just to give it to him.”
‘Haunted’ by Shane MacGowan and Sinéad O’Connor (Obsessive Love)
The ethereal voice of Sinéad O’Connor and the raw intensity of Shane MacGowan’s tone produces an effective contrast, one that took me a second to decide if I liked or not, but now I’ve come to appreciate how beautifully their voices work together. This song makes me want to sink into my bed and overthink about the unchangeable nothings of the past for hours on end.
‘Give Yourself a Try’ by the 1975 (Self-Love)
A very different tempo but distinctively post-punk, the song pairs sarcastic humour with a direct message of self-acceptance; embracing your mistakes and imperfections as part of personal growth instead of internal turmoil and shame. While Matty Healy has repeatedly found himself at the centre of controversy, his band certainly knows how to turn vulnerability and introspection into something you want to get up and move to.
“BoygeniusKingstonEarly240823 (19 of 45) (53139726724)” by Raph_PH is licensed under CC BY 2.0.