The thought process in which you realise you may have feelings for someone can suddenly develop into an unhealthy obsession that quite literally advances from 0 to 100 very quickly. The question we can ask ourselves is, why is this?
Psychologically, the reason behind a developing crush is owed to projecting attributes onto someone we seek the approval of. Once this attraction is established, a mix of chemicals are released into our brains creating a stress and reward response in which we become enamoured with our feelings and wholly determined by whether they will be reciprocated.
The neuroscience behind this attraction can be likened to the fight or flight response we sometimes feel in anxious situations, which could explain our erratic behaviour that develops the more we like somebody. If we sense that these feelings are left open-ended, we cannot help but then repeatedly seek our crush out, both mentally and physically, as we long for an answer that can put our mind at ease.
You can develop a crush on any type of person, but there are often times when you end up admiring and visualising the idea of someone who isn’t who you think they are in order to fit your desired expectation (most notably if this a crush you develop from afar; someone you have not even/barely spoken to). This becomes even more disturbing as the use of slang terms ⎯ such as the circulation of the TikTok phrase ‘delulu’.
But not only do we obsess after our crush, we can often change our daily mannerisms around them and morph into a variating version of ourselves that they believe they may like more, which instead inadvertently contradicts your intention of wanting someone to like you back as often times it is not the true version of you that has been depicted to them.
So, can these obsessive crushes ever be seen as a good thing?
Scientifically, the release of dopamine into our bloodstream does elevate our energy levels, and we can in fact perceive a small amount of delusion to be an elating escape from reality where we can fantasise only good things. However, this delusion can often lead to unhealthy obsessive behaviours which sequentially can only lead to tragedy.
Logically, fantasising relentlessly over people we hardly know evokes unjustified dependency and overall will put pressure on yourself and your crush for something to happen, even if you know realistically that it cannot. You can lose your objective outlook and ability to make informed decisions, and in extreme cases (worst of all), change the essence of yourself.
And so, to conclude this discussion, while the term delulu is viral, so is the following phrase: “delulu is the solulu”. We should instead attempt to juxtapose this and topple the emergence of limerence and ensure ourselves that “delulu is NOT the solulu!”
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