The arrival of September and the new university semester is a time dreaded by long-distance lovers: the time to say farewell, adios and adieu. Whilst some relationships may falter and fail at the prospect of separation and the approach of Freshers Week, others embark on the honourable task of committing to long-distance. Nevertheless, in spite of the heroics, it can be undeniably difficult, and often exhausting. Here’s how to successfully manage separation when starting university.
First and foremost it’s vital to stay in contact with your partner when you’re separated. Make a sustained effort to call each other wherever possible. If you can, organise a set time to call every day, even just for five minutes, so that you can check in with each other and hear one another’s voice. Keeping each other in the loop about the mundane events of daily life helps you to stay connected and maintains a sense of normality. Even if you don’t have time to talk (everyone knows how busy university can be!) sending a quick text can make a world of difference, especially if you or your loved one is feeling lonely and isolated in a new city.
Another tip is to try to make time for ‘virtual’ dates. Whilst incapable of replacing the real thing, virtual Facetime dates or movie screenings on Netflix party can still be enjoyable and allow you both to spend quality time together. Don’t expect for the thrill of dinner dates and romantic picnics to be replicated by a two hour watch party absent of cuddles, but definitely don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!
Alongside the obvious distance and time apart, however, comes the much needed respite of visiting your boyfriend or girlfriend, or having them visit you in whatever new and unfamiliar places you may be. The joy of a weekend together in the middle of a frantic first-year semester cannot be underestimated – and it gives you both something exciting to look forward to amidst the blues of deadlines and icy winters. Having your significant other visit you in a brand new city that is entirely your own – getting to show them the sites and being tourists together – can be unbelievably rewarding. The inevitable sadness of parting, however, must be satisfied by planning their next visit or your next weekend together. Having something to look forward to is crucial, and knowing when you’ll next see each other makes the wait much easier. Tick off the days in your diary and you’ll find that time will soon fly by.
Finally, make sure you actually enjoy your time at university, in spite of the fact your boyfriend or girlfriend may not be there to enjoy it all alongside you. The process of going to uni is one filled with trepidation, but staying busy and throwing yourself headfirst into what your new city may have to offer is a necessity when committing to a long-distance relationship. Not only does it make time pass faster in between seeing your loved one, but it’s a good reminder that romantic relationships and long-distance certainly isn’t the be all and end all. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the particulars of relationships when a whole new world awaits you. Living your own life outside of the one you share with your partner is equally as important and endlessly fulfilling, and I say this from experience!
Long-distance is hard, and whilst it may sometimes feel like the worst of times, don’t let it get in the way of the best of times either.
Illustration provided by Mansi Manoj