Football
by Luca Parrish
The worst time of year is upon us once again. Our magnificent pubs have been invaded and occupied by a terrifying and pervasive force. They travel in packs, bedecked in gilets, quarter zips, and Cotton Traders polos. Good luck enjoying a quiet pint watching the Saturday half-past-five kick-off, as they come, braying, shouting, and preoccupied by trying to “Split the G.”
It has been said, by fools and morons, that football is a gentleman’s sport played by hooligans, and rugby is a hooligan’s sport played by gentlemen, and I cannot think of a sentiment which disgusts me more. Yes, football people aren’t perfect, but Rugby fans are allowed to be loutish and uncivilised simply because they are posher than football fans.
The World Cup and the Euros, and football itself, are not what they were; sports science and money have strangled the game. However, the idea that anyone would rather watch a load of burly men running into each other is insanity. The level of technical ability required to play rugby is so small it is not even worth measuring. And yet pubs up and down the country are rendered intolerable at the same time each year because of it.
The Six Nations
by Gianluca Palombi
I never thought I would admit this, but I’ll confess: Six Nations is immensely more fun than the Euros. While this may not sound like an exceptionally bold statement here in Edinburgh, it surely is in the football-sick country where I come from, Italy.
I mean, what’s not to like? It’s awesome to have this yearly rendezvous with your fiercest rivals, knowing that you don’t need to wait four years to even the score after defeat. In fact, Six Nations’ editions mark time gently, accompanying us towards spring each year. Euros from this point of view are soul-crushing; in every edition, the mind travels back to summers four, eight years prior, when life was obviously easier and carefree. All this just to watch Scotland lose to Hungary in a meaningless match on a sweltering midsummer night. Pass.
But the best side of Six Nations is definitely the fans. Remarkably, you can go watch the match without brawls and ambushes, as is annoyingly common, even in international football. Six Nations’ crowds just want to have fun, watch some rugby, drink beer, and support any team that is not England.
Only thing missing? Well, my country winning, of course, but that’s what pubs are there for: forgetting. Grazie Scotland!
One Coin, Two Sides by Anna O’Gara