Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut (1999) has been treated like some kind of sacred text for over two decades; a ‘masterpiece’ of erotic tension, psychological complexity, and hidden meaning. But really, once you take off the mask (pun fully intended), what’s left is a long, glossy, painfully slow film about a man wandering around New York doing nothing in particular. For all its talk of desire and danger, Eyes Wide Shut spends most of its time showing Tom Cruise walking, staring, or repeating lines that sound like they were translated from another language and never proofread.
It’s not that the film doesn’t want to be interesting. Don’t get me wrong, the music is incredibly unsettling with a deep, ritualistic, layered chant along an unnerving drumbeat, but apart from that? The movie sort of just drifts. Every scene feels like it’s been stretched out to twice its natural length, as if Kubrick thought slow pacing automatically equals depth. The famous masked orgy scene, for instance, is supposed to be mysterious and shocking, but ends up feeling like an awkward theatre performance at a rich friend’s party. It’s not erotic; it’s uncomfortable in a way that isn’t even intentional. But maybe that’s the whole point… That’s the tricky thing with Kubrick films: Am I just not fully seeing the vision?
Still, critics love to call this film “ambiguous,” but half the time it’s just empty. Cruise’s character, Bill, doesn’t grow or learn anything; he just walks in circles while the movie tries to convince you that something profound is happening. Nicole Kidman, easily the more interesting presence, is wasted after the first act. Her one great scene (that drunken confession about almost cheating) is the only moment that feels alive. After that, the movie locks her away, just like it locks away any real emotion under its glossy perfection. Visually, yes, it’s beautiful, in that sterile, Kubrick way. The lighting, the symmetry, the polished surfaces. But all that precision just highlights how hollow the story is. It’s like looking at a painting you’re told is worth millions, but feeling nothing when you see it.
People keep insisting Eyes Wide Shut is deep because it’s confusing and you’re constantly on your tippy toes. But sometimes a slow movie about sexless sex and privileged people being miserable is just that. For all the masks, mystery, and whispered theories, Kubrick’s final film feels less like a revelation and more like a two-and-a-half-hour lullaby: beautiful to look at, impossible to stay awake through.
“Eyes Wide Shut” by August Brill is licensed under CC BY 2.0.