Picture it. You’re walking through the Meadows, minding your own business, and then you spot him. Tote bag on shoulder, oat milk matcha in one hand, a copy of Normal People in the other, and a Labubu attached to the carabiner swinging from his waist. Lest we forget the Clairo blasting from his wired headphones. There he is, the performative man in all his glory.
Social media has seen a spike in the archetype of the ‘performative man’, with competitions being ran across UK universities to find the ‘final boss’ of performativity. Whether it’s the feminist literature they ‘read’, or the green tea that they ‘drink’, or the music they ‘listen’ to, the man has finally been brandished with his own form of cultural ‘pick me’.
But is this simply a taste of their own medicine, or are we reinforcing ideas of toxic masculinity, and demonising femininity?
Whilst the trend may seem harmless, poking fun at the idea of men collecting hobbies like infinity stones to attract and seduce women, I truly think the consequences are much deeper rooted than this. Online ideas of male supremacy are suggesting that the increase of women in typically male spaces, such as the workplace, is the leading cause of the feminisation of men.
In a world that is increasingly dominated by alt-right ideas of masculinity, I must admit the performative man acts as a nice break from doomscrolling rising conservatism. A red-pilled Andrew Tate follower who worships the manosphere and sees women as subordinate, or a baggy jean wearing, Joan Didion reading man who can appreciate a Joni Mitchell record? I think I know which I’d prefer!
At risk of sounding like a ‘pick me’ myself, we must consider the combination of these phrases, as well as the idea of the TikTok phenomenon last year of ‘girl hobbies’. By gendering interests such as music, literature, and sports, we are reinforcing the stereotypes that feminists have fought so hard to break down.
So-called ‘performative men’ are being persecuted for breaking away from the sexist and emotionally avoidant ideals of toxic masculinity by having hobbies that are deemed ‘too feminine’. We must question why the most pathetic thing a man can possibly do is act like a woman, or worse — gay.
Of course, within this we must look out for the deceitful ‘mansplainer’, who proves problematic in thinking he knows women’s wants more than they do. But a condescending man is easy to spot, authenticity in a man’s reading of bell hooks is much harder. Is it really so hard to imagine a world in which a few men are truly interested in feminist literature without a hidden agenda?
Perhaps ‘performative men’ need to reclaim the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ and break away from the normalisation of immature, aggressive behaviour. Boy, put that Clairo back on and grab yourself a locally brewed craft beer. Let them into your cafes, women-owned bookshops, and hearts. Here he comes, world, be kind to him.
“Performative male contest 1” by Based5290 is licensed under CC BY 4.0.
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Performative Men: A Welcome Change from Toxic Masculinity?
Picture it. You’re walking through the Meadows, minding your own business, and then you spot him. Tote bag on shoulder, oat milk matcha in one hand, a copy of Normal People in the other, and a Labubu attached to the carabiner swinging from his waist. Lest we forget the Clairo blasting from his wired headphones. There he is, the performative man in all his glory.
Social media has seen a spike in the archetype of the ‘performative man’, with competitions being ran across UK universities to find the ‘final boss’ of performativity. Whether it’s the feminist literature they ‘read’, or the green tea that they ‘drink’, or the music they ‘listen’ to, the man has finally been brandished with his own form of cultural ‘pick me’.
But is this simply a taste of their own medicine, or are we reinforcing ideas of toxic masculinity, and demonising femininity?
Whilst the trend may seem harmless, poking fun at the idea of men collecting hobbies like infinity stones to attract and seduce women, I truly think the consequences are much deeper rooted than this. Online ideas of male supremacy are suggesting that the increase of women in typically male spaces, such as the workplace, is the leading cause of the feminisation of men.
In a world that is increasingly dominated by alt-right ideas of masculinity, I must admit the performative man acts as a nice break from doomscrolling rising conservatism. A red-pilled Andrew Tate follower who worships the manosphere and sees women as subordinate, or a baggy jean wearing, Joan Didion reading man who can appreciate a Joni Mitchell record? I think I know which I’d prefer!
At risk of sounding like a ‘pick me’ myself, we must consider the combination of these phrases, as well as the idea of the TikTok phenomenon last year of ‘girl hobbies’. By gendering interests such as music, literature, and sports, we are reinforcing the stereotypes that feminists have fought so hard to break down.
So-called ‘performative men’ are being persecuted for breaking away from the sexist and emotionally avoidant ideals of toxic masculinity by having hobbies that are deemed ‘too feminine’. We must question why the most pathetic thing a man can possibly do is act like a woman, or worse — gay.
Of course, within this we must look out for the deceitful ‘mansplainer’, who proves problematic in thinking he knows women’s wants more than they do. But a condescending man is easy to spot, authenticity in a man’s reading of bell hooks is much harder. Is it really so hard to imagine a world in which a few men are truly interested in feminist literature without a hidden agenda?
Perhaps ‘performative men’ need to reclaim the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ and break away from the normalisation of immature, aggressive behaviour. Boy, put that Clairo back on and grab yourself a locally brewed craft beer. Let them into your cafes, women-owned bookshops, and hearts. Here he comes, world, be kind to him.
“Performative male contest 1” by Based5290 is licensed under CC BY 4.0.
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