It is a fact of life that at some point or other, everyone will face rejection. Whether this comes in the form of a friendship, romantic relationship, or job opportunity, it is inevitably bound to happen. In light of this, the concept of rejection therapy is becoming increasingly mainstream, as individuals are taking it upon themselves to do crazy things in order to make rejection feel less painful when it is experienced. This prompts the question however, is this a beneficial activity which can build confidence, or is it ineffectual and delusional?
I have always bought into the school of thought introduced to me by Doris Day: ‘que sera, sera,’ meaning whatever will be, will be. This encourages the belief that what is supposed to happen will happen; if a rejection is experienced, it is meant to happen. Ultimately, you end up where you are meant to be. Whilst this may appear convoluted, it truly is a comforting way to contemplate rejection, as it promotes the idea that when one door shuts, a window, or a back door, or even a cat flap, opens. However, some people are taking this belief to the extreme, and beginning to participate in abnormal activities, which usually involve asking strangers to do something unusual, with the expectation to be rejected.
This ‘rejection therapy’ helps to deal with rejection when it is inevitably faced, with the argument being that because you have experienced rejection before, it should be less intense when endured for real. This is similar to exposure therapy, which suggests that the more frequently you do something, the more normalised, and therefore the easier, it becomes. Although, is it really appropriate to compare the rejection of asking a stranger to tie your shoe, to the rejection of not getting into your dream university, or getting rejected by the person you believe to be the love of your life?
It is clear that rejection itself is becoming a major fear in the hearts of society. This is a very understandable reaction — after experiencing a rejection, it is often easy to blame yourself, and believe that you are simply not good enough. With this in mind, it is arguable that engaging in rejection therapy will not be able to counteract what a natural response to rejection is. Perhaps the attempt to feel less at rejection is also a worrying promotion of attempting to quash emotions, rather than deal with them head-on and grow as an individual.
Ultimately, whilst rejection therapy can help to build confidence in everyday scenarios, it is a fool’s errand to believe it will render someone impermeable against the vicissitudes of rejection. Instead, we should embrace rejection as a difficult emotion but one that aids growth and personal development in the best ways possible.
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash.