The uncertainty and tension underlying current geopolitical relations has contributed to narratives that states should strengthen their hard power by developing their militaries. Alongside this critique of some nations being too weak and unprepared for war, there’s been a tonally-similar rise in sentiments that we are losing ‘real men’ in our societies, frequently accompanied by comments like ‘men used to go to war,’ across the political spectrum.
These situations are related. Since beginning to deconstruct traditional gender norms and international relations dynamics based on violence and conquest, we now seem to be re-prioritising a traditionalist glorification of ‘fading’ forms of masculinity, and militarily-powerful nations perceived as possessing a ‘masculine’ strength.
Oftentimes used quite carelessly, the statement ‘men used to go to war’ is highly ignorant and dangerous, as it both implies that all boys and men who partook in war did so consensually, and completely disregards all of the experiences and struggles of men and boys who— because of highly unfortunate socio-political situations across the globe— are still fighting in wars.
But, most importantly, we need to let go of this idea that war is a worthy pursuit that gives men purpose, and allows them to be (or become) ‘real men.’ Because by doing so, we sideline how it does this— we ignore the abuse and violence that men face in armies and war that ‘toughens them up’, and we omit the horrors and destruction war causes for all people involved (directly or not).
Like in the case of Prince Andrey from War and Peace, whom Tolstoy had proclaim “My father, my sister, my wife […] I would give them all up for one moment of glory, triumph over men, to be loved by men I don’t even know,” traditional conceptions of masculinity also enforce upon men a deep desire to prove themselves ‘heroic’ to other, unnecessarily-elevated men, ignoring the harms this can cause for themselves, women, and other men.
Though this is, of course, a quote from a character in a fictional novel, men seeking to fulfil their desire to be accepted as a ‘real’ man (i.e. masculine and violent) by other men is still a highly prevalent occurrence and idea. We see it when men belittle their partners and wives in front of their male friends for a laugh; when they engage in ‘locker room talk’ to degrade women and feel in control; and when they fall into terribly damaging manospheres that exploit their insecurities about not having fulfilled their naturally-given role of ‘dominance’ in society.
This idolisation of masculinity and men is not a natural characteristic, but an identity imposed upon men (by both men and women), which teaches them to idolise strong, powerful, and even violent men over women, whose assumed-to-be inherent femininity undermines their ‘superior’ masculinity.
Language matters: we need to stop shaming men who don’t engage in these toxic behaviours, because it also helps normalise the horrors of war by glorifying power and dominance.
“1204-10~082 d – Gassed, 1918, by John Singer Sargent” by Markus Maschinenjunge is marked with Public Domain Mark 1.0.
Like this:
Like Loading...
Related
“Men Used to go to War!”— A Deconstruction of the ‘Real Men’ Idea
The uncertainty and tension underlying current geopolitical relations has contributed to narratives that states should strengthen their hard power by developing their militaries. Alongside this critique of some nations being too weak and unprepared for war, there’s been a tonally-similar rise in sentiments that we are losing ‘real men’ in our societies, frequently accompanied by comments like ‘men used to go to war,’ across the political spectrum.
These situations are related. Since beginning to deconstruct traditional gender norms and international relations dynamics based on violence and conquest, we now seem to be re-prioritising a traditionalist glorification of ‘fading’ forms of masculinity, and militarily-powerful nations perceived as possessing a ‘masculine’ strength.
Oftentimes used quite carelessly, the statement ‘men used to go to war’ is highly ignorant and dangerous, as it both implies that all boys and men who partook in war did so consensually, and completely disregards all of the experiences and struggles of men and boys who— because of highly unfortunate socio-political situations across the globe— are still fighting in wars.
But, most importantly, we need to let go of this idea that war is a worthy pursuit that gives men purpose, and allows them to be (or become) ‘real men.’ Because by doing so, we sideline how it does this— we ignore the abuse and violence that men face in armies and war that ‘toughens them up’, and we omit the horrors and destruction war causes for all people involved (directly or not).
Like in the case of Prince Andrey from War and Peace, whom Tolstoy had proclaim “My father, my sister, my wife […] I would give them all up for one moment of glory, triumph over men, to be loved by men I don’t even know,” traditional conceptions of masculinity also enforce upon men a deep desire to prove themselves ‘heroic’ to other, unnecessarily-elevated men, ignoring the harms this can cause for themselves, women, and other men.
Though this is, of course, a quote from a character in a fictional novel, men seeking to fulfil their desire to be accepted as a ‘real’ man (i.e. masculine and violent) by other men is still a highly prevalent occurrence and idea. We see it when men belittle their partners and wives in front of their male friends for a laugh; when they engage in ‘locker room talk’ to degrade women and feel in control; and when they fall into terribly damaging manospheres that exploit their insecurities about not having fulfilled their naturally-given role of ‘dominance’ in society.
This idolisation of masculinity and men is not a natural characteristic, but an identity imposed upon men (by both men and women), which teaches them to idolise strong, powerful, and even violent men over women, whose assumed-to-be inherent femininity undermines their ‘superior’ masculinity.
Language matters: we need to stop shaming men who don’t engage in these toxic behaviours, because it also helps normalise the horrors of war by glorifying power and dominance.
“1204-10~082 d – Gassed, 1918, by John Singer Sargent” by Markus Maschinenjunge is marked with Public Domain Mark 1.0.
Share this:
Like this:
Related