Situationships…the new, no-strings attached, stress-free relationship. Or, realistically, an excuse to not commit? It seems everyone I speak to these days has experienced at least one of these. And don’t seem to look back on them with fond memories. In the murky world of situationships, boundaries seem non-existent and the unspoken rules everyone else has supposedly learnt at some point in their life go right over your head and make you feel like it’s the first time you have ever spoken to another human being. You are left wondering when did everyone agree that situationships are the new relationship? Whatever happened to a little romance?
It begins: fun, exciting, new. You’re thrilled at the prospect of love, someone to laugh with, maybe even ‘the one’? Yet, it ends riddled with jealousy, staring paralysed at text messages you don’t know how to respond to, and that constant feeling of guilt eating at you. So are situationships actually easier than relationships? Asking for a friend.
One of the reasons situationships seem to be quickly becoming the most heartbreaking kind of relationship is the hesitancy to commit. For those who want a fun fling without the danger of a long-term commitment, situationships might be the way to go. However, all evidence seems to prove otherwise (a.k.a every rom-com ever.) There is a thin line between casual and convenience. All too often we see one person feigning a blasé attitude which they believe the other person wants, so they ignore their own needs. We end up giving ourselves up for the ease and comfort of the other person. And at what cost?
We need connection, scientists have found this again and again — loneliness has been deemed as dangerous as smoking. So why are we so scared to commit? Is this a phenomenon that is unique to this generation where appearing nonchalant is the recipe to seem cool? Or is there something deeper at play here?
Breakups are hard. But, do you know what is much harder? Not knowing if you are broken up. Mourning a relationship only to wake up with a notification from them on your phone the next day. You tell yourself and your friends that you can do casual, not truly convincing either party. With Vogue claiming that having a boyfriend is now embarrassing, people seem to be shying away from relationships. It’s true that relationships take time and effort and can often not be the right fit for people. Taking the time to focus on yourself can be rewarding, and crucial, especially in these developmental years. Nevertheless, so can taking the time to get to know another person, learning how to communicate, and learning how tolove someone else. Some people are claiming our society is taking a dangerous turn towards the individual, focusing too much on the ‘finding yourself’ and not enough on ‘the village it takes’ to do this. This prompts the question: are situationships a mutation of relationships in our increasingly individualistic culture? Or, are they simply a bit of light-hearted fun? The jury is still out.
Image by Siora Photography on Unsplash