“Friendship is everything” is a message we hear time and again. Whether it’s from sitcoms like New Girl, Friends, or How I Met Your Mother, we’re constantly reminded that our 20s are meant to be spent with a charming group of carefree people who feel like family.
But life doesn’t always imitate art (or Netflix!). The transient nature of university life where coursemates, flats, (and even romantic partners) constantly change can often leave us longing for those solid, sitcom-worthy friendships.
Close friendships (four or five true besties, not a roster of acquaintances you Snapchat weekly) have even been linked to lower mortality rates. So, how do we find that group of people who can bring a little joy to even the harshest of midterm study sessions?
Step one is simple: say something! If you meet someone whose energy you like, let them know. It could be a compliment or a joke about the lecture you’re both in. One of my closest friendships began when a girl tapped me on the shoulder to compliment my Louis Theroux tote bag.
Consistency is also key. With busy schedules, you can’t attend every dinner or coffee date, but make the effort when you can. A weekly dinner is a tasty and convenient way to see everyone you care about at once, or double up on your dopamine with a tandem run around The Meadows (it might turn into a slow jog to Uplands Roast for a hot chocolate, but who’s judging?).
For friends further away, simple gestures matter. Sending a postcard, voice note, or funny Instagram reel can keep the connection alive. It’s easy to fall into the “out of sight, out of mind” trap, but those who’ve been with you through different life chapters are worth holding onto. After all, you’ll want to be at each other’s weddings a few years down the line!
Finally, don’t take things too personally. It can be tough to see the dreaded double blue tick of a message left on read or feel hurt when an old friend doesn’t comment on your new post. But life gets busy, and not hearing from someone doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking of you—or that you’re not a valued friend.
If some friendships fade over time, that’s okay too. Friend breakups are hard, but they make space for new friendships and connections. Staying open, authentic, and focused on enjoying yourself will naturally attract the right people into your life.
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash