Instead of feeling refreshed as January closes, it can be easy to feel stagnant. All one has to do is look on social media to feel a rush of disappointment over abandoned resolutions and bad days which seem to linger. While typical advice to cosy up in a warm blanket or call a friend to commiserate is essential in the initial hurt of a day-gone-wrong, it fails to address the negative feelings that often stick with us.
With the rise of online voices dictating each micro-habit and mindset that are deemed essential for a ‘perfect’ life, an ordinary bad day can feel more like a personal failure. This has the potential to affect our personal narrative — the story we tell others and ourselves of who we are. For example, a bad grade may lead you to form the belief you’re not academically good enough, something subsequent bad days only seem to reinforce. These weighted emotions aren’t inherently flawed or shameful, but it is important to find a way for us to detach our worth from our setbacks and bad days.
One tool that can help us acknowledge the discomfort of emotions a bad day often brings is to imagine them as a guest in your home and not an adversary. Throughout life, negative and uncomfortable feelings are inevitable. Pushing them away or using them as a justification for cruelty to oneself gives these feelings the potential to become toxic, but actually they are a way for us to understand ourselves on a deeper level. So, when you imagine this uncomfortable emotion don’t reject it or embrace its destructive potential, instead recognise its presence and allow it to pass through you without letting it control your personal narrative.
This is where self-care comes in. Once the immediate hurt of a bad day passes try doing activities that ground you more in things you enjoy and help you feel more in-tune with yourself. For me, this is keeping a somewhat embarrassing diary. Writing, whether in a diary or a scrappy piece of paper is a way to unload and find clarity in your feelings without the fear of judgement or explanation. Other examples could be making a new playlist of songs to channel the way you feel, cook a good meal, or rewatch one of your favourite childhood movies.
For a more light-hearted piece of advice, try adopting the ‘Bridget Jones mindset’. To readers unfamiliar with the British icon, we often see Bridget at her worst. Rather than drowning in a pit of despair, she faces her disastrous and embarrassing moments head on. Her ability to see the humour in her bad days and not allow them to determine her worth is admirable.
Above all, remember that disappointment over unsatisfactory days is a painfully normal part of the human experience, and especially common in the first few months of the new year. These days don’t change who you are or the goodness that is to come in the new year.
Photo by Egor Komarov on Unsplash.