Emotional cheating exists under the guise of infidelity; ‘a breach of your partner’s emotional or sexual exclusivity,’ but whilst physical cheating normally offers you some pretty concrete ammunition for a throwing their clothes out the window break up, emotional cheating is a little more tricky (side note; I am of the opinion that if you think something is a valid reason to break up with someone, break up with them, it’s your life!)
Emotional cheating exists in the grey area. Often navigated by feeling, it is a breach of trust, when you break or dishonour the boundaries you and your partner have created. Although there is no clear-cut way to define what emotional cheating entails, my unsolicited definition is a bond of intimacy you keep secret from your partner, a relationship that goes beyond friendship, it is the cultivation of active feelings for another person.
It’s easier to identify emotional cheating in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, less easy in a queer relationship where there might be more nuances, for example, can you emotionally cheat in an open relationship ?
I think what you may count as emotional cheating can tell you a lot about your boundaries and needs in a relationship, over the week I have been asking my friends what they think emotional cheating is, the range of answers have been a good reminder that we all need and want different things in relationships. Communicate your boundaries, respect your partners and you should be safe from having to throw anyone’s clothes anywhere!
Illustration by Jessica Bolevin