What if conclave was queerer, and even more dramatic?
Arden Fitzroy stars as Cvntvs, the cardinal in charge of organising the conclave to pick the new
pope. Fitzroy takes you on a journey of why each of the candidates are not suitable for the role of Pope
and ultimately why Cvntvs should hold the role – even if he isn’t sinless. This story is scattered with puns, film references and a trip to Vegas that make for an entertaining show.
The jokes had great potential, mostly referring to films and tv shows such as Black Mirror and Mean Girls, some chronically online jokes such as referencing Ao3, and a lot of fast talking. The speed and complexity of the script Fitzroy recited was very impressive. However, it often made for a tough time keeping up
with the action. Pacing was unfortunately under-considered overall, with many of the jokes not given time be considered before moving on to the next section. Despite this, Fitzroy gave a
performance perfectly fitting of a guilty and self-loving cardinal.
The show was jam-packed with catholic history and deep confessionals, meaning queer theologians will
get a kick out of the show. If you don’t know much about the Vatican prior, however, I suggest scrubbing up on your knowledge in order to appreciate the show more.
Fitzroy was at their best doing a serious re-enactment of the death of a saint, which I found genuinely compelling. I wish there were more moments like it throughout. While the end of the show was very much a speech of Fitzroy themself expressing how the papacy should be, it was nice to hear solutions for a new pope.
Overall, Cvntclave has the very promising bones of a fantastic show, and with just a little more work I
believe this could become a religious experience. If you’ve ever wanted to take part in the choosing of
the next pope, have a cardinal spill all of their sins and secrets to you, and love a bit of drama, then
Cvntclave is the show for you.
CVNTCLAVE is running until 29 August at Lime Studio at Greenside at George
Street. Buy tickets here.
Image by Azeem Mustafa, provided for press use.
