With the height of summer upon us, many of us will find ourselves repeating a mistake we have made many times before: forming an attachment to someone who, come autumn, will leave us in the dust. It’s an inherently romantic idea, the thought of romance coming hard and fast, and leaving like how it came. Friends and family are scattered about; there is no consistency of university, and you find yourself bored in the longer days, so you think, why not? Whether it’s someone you met at university, someone you have been longing for at home, or someone you met on holiday after one too many Spritzes, history repeats itself.
But why are summer situationships so prominent? I think this is best eulogised in the opening chapters of Ian McEwan’s novel, Atonement. The novel’s crux unfolds during an unbearably hot English summer, where the heat, idleness, and endless afternoons seem to heighten every glance and every touch. This is backed up scientifically, as more consistent sunlight boosts both levels of serotonin and vitamin D, which support the experience of pleasure and libido. The longer days mean more time outdoors, more opportunities to socialise, and overall, a better mood. We are more inclined to say yes: to nights out, festivals, spontaneous trips, and even people we might think twice about come September.
With all good things, they must come to an end; this includes this situationship that you thought would defeat the odds. Despite it being a measly few months, it sometimes hurts more than a run-of-the-mill breakup, but why is that? I think it is due to a combination of not leaving the honeymoon phase and the intensity that those months provide. Whether consciously or unconsciously, you put your all into this ill-fated romance; the barriers you would usually have fall faster. Knowing there’s an end adds to the fun, passion, and romance of it all. As stated in Taylor Swift’s song, August, you “live for the hope of it all.” This is why they’re overly romanticised: the tragedy of it all, because as humans we are drawn to things that will hurt us and make us feel. Like how we would fall for someone because we think we can change them.
We spend months anticipating summer. It is the time of year for festivals, holidays, beer gardens, and long evenings that allow us to escape the mundanity of university life. Pop culture enables this too. From Mamma Mia! to Love Island, we are reminded that “summer loving” is the ideal. The uncomplicated nature of summer is the fantasy we fall for, not just another person; that is why we think every year will break the curse and be different.
Then how do you survive a summer situationship? You should try and enjoy it for what it is, rather than fantasising about what the future holds. Be realistic about your expectations and understand that not every romance has to end in a grand, happily ever after; it can simply be a learning experience punctuated with memories that are best left in the summer they belong to. Maybe you gain stories to share with friends, or perhaps a new favourite song to sing along to, but ultimately, you end up reminding yourself not to text them when autumn rears its head.
Photo by Barbara De Benedetto on Unsplash
