Last night, I found myself in George Square after dark, cowering under the watchful eyes of a massive inflatable cow, biding my time before my most anticipated gig of the night: Ian Lockwood’s Farewell Tour.
Ian Lockwood, in a singlet that does not at all cover his nipples, puts on a hilarious hour of musical comedy that bravely asks “what if we could hear Taylor Swift’s inner monologue at all times?” Unapologetically nasty, Ian Lockwood has completed all of his aspirations and now, without anyone hot enough to keep him on this mortal plane, he has made a deal with Swiss company Dignitas to end his life at the last stop of his final tour. Which, of course, is in the international music Mecca, Edinburgh, Scotland.
Pioneer of a new genre called “funny music,” Lockwood puts on the show of his life.
One of the best parts of the show is that Lockwood can actually sing; his high notes in “No Homo” and “Your Dad” were genuinely impressive, and some of the songs would have been well nigh unlistenable if he didn’t have the pipes to back up the jokes. And, doubly impressively, he sings live the entire time. Even while executing some flawless choreography.
Some of the songs do date themselves with some antique internet references, but for the most part, each song and each Ian era builds on the previous; you can practically feel his wealth and fame and hotness accumulating as the songs get more and more recent. By the time we meet Orbo, Ian Lockwood has run over– sorry I mean won over every single audience member.
Ian Lockwood: The Farewell Tour is on at 22:20 in the Wee Coo until 26 August (excluding 12). Go see it, while you can.
Buy tickets here
Images provided by Underbelly for use by The Student