Why do we love slow burns? Maybe, it’s because we get to savour the pre-romance stage for so long. Take a look at Nick and Jess from New Girl. Remember their first kiss? Nicola Coughlan, Bridgerton star, declared it the best on-screen kiss ever. And if Penelope Bridgerton agrees with all the romance books she’s read, you know it’s something good. Nick Miller is known for his wild antics and brash behaviour, especially around Jess. She even compares him to an old man with no patience, but when he kisses Jess, he’s surprisingly compassionate and patient, waiting until they’re alone to show her just how serious he is. Truly the essence of a slow burn.
So, what’s the appeal of watching a relationship unfold? For me, it’s about realism. Jim and Pam from The Office took three seasons to go on their first real date (we’ll pretend that adorable grilled cheese night in Season 2 doesn’t count). The flirty banter, the tension, the little glances they gave each other – it’s often the best part about falling in love. It’s no wonder so many rom-coms thrive on that formula. Think of the Before trilogy, with the beautiful Julie Delpy and the only rewarding performance of Ethan Hawke in a romance setting I’ve seen. Remember that scene at the end where Celine hesitates to touch Jesse? It perfectly encapsulates those ordinary, trivial moments that we all grapple with in real-life romances, beautifully portrayed in the film.
I’m a sucker for friends-to-lovers stories, so let’s skip the dark romances (seriously, why are there so many After movies?). Jim and Pam, Nick and Jess – they both depict the gradual process of change from colleagues to friends to eventually falling in love. When Nick finally admits he fell in love with Jess the moment she walked through that door (although only through Schmidt’s prompting), it’s utterly endearing. Watching a love like that makes you hopeful that maybe, just maybe, it’ll happen to you too.
That’s the whole allure of a slow burn: it’s intimate. Unlike instant romances that often feel forced, a slow burn lets characters truly connect and get to know each other—right before our eyes. There’s no façade, just genuine chemistry. In our fast-paced society dominated by dating apps, a slow burn might help us rediscover the true meaning of love and life.
Illustration by Louisa Taylor @louisataylor.illustration
