In a world that is increasingly dependent on group chats and shared experiences, it can be daunting to think about spending time alone with yourself. However, among this narrative of relying on others for feelings of self-worth, there emerges a different kind of self-empowerment though ‘flying solo’. Whilst spending quality time with yourself may seem like a fearful prospect, it can in fact be an invigorating way to reconnect with who you really are.
Recently I have got into the habit of taking myself on solo dates: whether that be going out to eat, visiting museums, taking a trip to the cinema or even just simply getting a hot chocolate. In the beginning, it felt odd to be doing these activities alone, especially in public places surrounded by lots of people. But, over time, it gets easier and also more enjoyable to do things independently for and with yourself. Initially I thought that spending time alone meant silence, but it doesn’t have to be that way; now with Spotify and streaming services a podcast or album can accompany you on your travels. Depending on your preferences, solo activities can either involve some level of interaction with others or if you prefer quieter pursuits, journaling or reading are a great alternative. The emphasis is on how flexible such activities are to match what you enjoy doing.
Often our fear of doing things alone stems from an assumption of judgement as solitude is portrayed as a negative or even troublesome state. However, learning to be comfortable with your own company can lead to personal growth and an acknowledgement of your boundaries and limitations. There is a certain sense of freedom that you gain from doing things by yourself and the feeling of accomplishment you feel in both planning but also carrying out an activity can be a really affirming and positive experience. By doing things for yourself you not only have to problem solve but you also have to get a bit creative with what activities you decide to do — especially when you can’t split a bill with someone!
Often in group situations, your own desires can be lost or caught up in the mix of different values and interests, but when ‘flying solo’ it is the things that you love to do that are prioritised and are allowed to flourish. When you don’t rely upon someone else’s company, relationships become a choice rather than a necessity. There is, however, a balance between independence and group events. Friendships and social connection are still really important for maintaining a network of emotional support to provide energy and uplift, whilst also recognising when time alone is needed in order to reflect and reset.
‘Flying solo’ isn’t about being alone — it’s about becoming comfortable enough with who you are to follow your passions, connect with others, and become a better version of yourself.
Illustration provided by Katya Roberts for The Student (@katyaillustrates)
